Sadness - committing to wearing hearing aids and saying goodbye to my natural hearing

Hearing Loss
#1

SSNHL sufferer here, with new overnight hearing loss 7 months ago in R ear and 30+ year hearing loss in my left.

I spent a lot of the last 7 months trying to get away without hearing aids, and resisting them, and eventually got them tweaked to the point where I like my aided hearing so much better than un-aided, which had become more and more of a challenge.

What I didn’t expect was such an emotional period to ensue, feeling like I’ve given over control of my hearing now to these devices (what if something goes wrong, or one of them breaks, or etc), and how terrible the world sounds when I take them out at night, etc. It’s like wearing them is both a blessed relief AND shows me how bad it was.

Mostly just venting and wondering if anyone can relate? It was most unexpected. Feeling so sad, when something is actually (finally) working to help hear my wife, birds, rain etc.

Thanks

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#2

This is normal, and most of us, I’d guess, grieved the recognition of the loss of the hearing. I went years joking about how I was going deaf and needed things louder, but suggesting I just liked things loud. Being referred to an ENT clinic for hearing tests and diagnosis woke me up, and started that grief. A few years later now, I am happy with the technology I have, but wish it were better, of course. It doesn’t seem like it can ever be the same again. I’ll hear better in heaven.

WH

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#3

I think the suddenness of the hearing loss was a major trauma. My wife had the same kind of sudden loss overnight, but fortunately she spontaneously recovered.

My deafness has been developing over years and I kept compensating, faking it, pretending I was understanding and so forth. By the time I started using hearing aids, it was a big relief. I guess we all have our own paths. At this point, I cannot remember what it was like to have normal hearing and I can’t imagine being without hearing aids.

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#4

It’s not fun

Even in my dreams I am hard of hearing - weird.

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#5

I cant imagine what it is like to have normal hearing or to be without hearing aids. Im grateful that I am not completely deaf and i can still communicate verbally.

The major exception to that are restaurants, where i cannot hear with or without hearing aids.

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#6

There’s joy in living in an age when technology can do so much to compensate for the loss!!

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#7

Hi, my father when he was 60 was wearing Ha’s (that was in the 1960’s) one can just imagine the technology then compared to today, I understand why he was complaining so much about the poor performance, in my family it hereditary, 7 kids, 5 with hearing issues, 2 of those have implants, I’m lucky that even in my 77th year I can still use Ha’s, and my new ones are even better, this is tech for you, 18 years ago when I was with a soft spoken client difficulty understanding, that was when I needed a hearing test to confirm that I had 35% loss in one ear, the other one followed soon after, the day I put in the second one they told me you may need to go slow, a few hrs at a time, but I never took it off, it was such a relief to be able to get back to a “almost” normal life again, haven’t look back since, yes there is the chance that things beak down, but just make sure you have a good Audi, then your down time will be minimal. I have absolutely no issues with wearing them, the moment I wake up to pillow time late at night, today my loss is 75-80% plus, without them the communicating world stops. I just feel very fortunate the there IS a solution for me.

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#8

I felt shocked and upset to see how much my loss had increased by my 50s, after ignoring it since high school. I was deaf at a couple high frequencies by my 20s but faked it for a long long time. As sad as the moment of recognition can be when it comes, it opens the door to better connection with people. Yes, it’s a loss, there is grief. People here get it and can support you, keep reaching out.

There are good things just beyond, although it didn’t feel that way for me initially because I was struggling to communicate with Hearing people for my job and adjusting to the aids was really horrible for me. Oddly, I’m more deaf now and everything is easier. One adjusts, not that this is a cheery fact. But unlike my great grandmother, grandfather and father–at my age I can understand speech.
The HAs make that possible. It’s OK.

Thinking of you as you go through this journey.

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#9

There is a book I and others here recommend,
Hear & Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss by Eberts and Hannah. About $14 on Amazon. Worth your time.

WH

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#10

ONLY if you can afford the technology.

#11

Costco is the answer to that, but of course it is still a chunk of money.

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#12

I can relate to the emotional part. Hearing is a huge part of our experience, and a major part of our quality of life. It brings up issues of ageing, independence, how we’ll be perceived, self-esteem… it’s a lot of effects.

My path to the hearing aid emotion-coaster is a little different. A lifelong friend has SSHL from birth, so the prospect my own SSHL wasn’t threatening. It was only after 17 years of living with SSHL that natural HF loss on remining side, and the problems that was caused, forced the issue of a hearing aid, and I was still niaevely optimistic.

The sads finally landed when I realized, from hearing so much better, how much my own behaviour had been compromised for years. As I wasn’t comprehending, I’d stopped listening, and relationships were affected, effectively withdrawing.

Now I’m a big proponent of not waiting just because, “I don’t really need them” or “it’s only slight loss.” Once it’s effecting you, that’s when you need to start.

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#13

I think after the grief, the biggest favour you can do yourself, is excepting your loss…We cannot move on until we come to terms with our loss, in my case that took many years… But eventually, you realise, it is now part of you, and no amount of wishing otherwise can turn back the clock… Cheers Kev :wink:

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#14

I guess I am out in the fringes. After realizing that, in group settings, I could hear but not understand. I was elated to find HA’s that “let me in” again. Not like when I was 20 but good enough to keep me going. Gives me an excuse when someone annoys me. “my hearing aid batteries are going dead, I can’t hear you”.
Had no idea that the family room clock was that loud!

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#15

I also experienced SSNHL in my right ear. It happened on September 20 of last year, mid afternoon. With emergency treatment I regained just enough hearing for it to be “aid-able”. The hearing tests showed that I had moderate hearing loss in my “good” ear as well. I’d never had my hearing tested before that, but the assumption is that the hearing in both ears was equally bad before the sudden loss of hearing in my right ear. I had been (somewhat consciously) compensating for years, often to the annoyance of those around me. If I was present, everything was LOUD, including my voice.

Getting hearing aids, for me, was transformative - it feels like I have a new superpower! The restored hearing is imperfect, of course, but I understand that it will take time to get the settings dialed in and for my brain to adapt. But I can stream music, TV, and phone calls directly into my head!!! I can turn it all off when working in a noisy environment (why amplify shop noise?)(and, yes, I still wear hearing protection). And I can adjust everything on the screen of my phone!

I guess that I am just trying to give you a different perspective. Please embrace your new superpower!

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#16

When I first started wearing hearing aids I didn’t feel sad or grief, I felt wow I am hearing sounds that I didn’t even know existed.
I was raised to be a positive thinking, and to not think negative thoughts about anything, it works most of the time for me. When I feel negative I start looking for something positive to be glad about.

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#17

I also felt depressed and sad when I first got my hearing aids 5 years ago. BUT, as time went on, I found that I was becoming less introverted and more outgoing because I was interacting much more with people now that I could understand what they were saying (I have cookie bite hearing loss). I also realized that people were enjoying talking with me more because I wasn’t constantly asking them to repeat what they had just said. (I know how tiring that can be since my husband also has hearing loss.) I now love wearing my hearing aids and really enjoy fiddling with the app to get the very best sound in any situation. The sounds of music, birds, crickets, barking dogs, rustling leaves, and rushing streams are now such a joy!

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#18

I get it … it may take years to accept and then you still feel the pain of it all , I will say that you will be ok hearing loss is a loss … you have a lot of us out here with the loss. I have a profound loss here yet I’m ok after many years :sunglasses::palm_tree:sure hope you adjust quickly!

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#19

In my opinion Chuck… There is a fundamental difference between gradual loss over many years, and bilateral SSNHL (Sudden Sensory Neural Hearing Loss) especially if it is in the severe/profound threshold, gradual loss tends to creep up on you, and it’s probably more likely, a person with this progressive loss, tends to be in denial until they can’t deny any longer, human nature helps you adapt incrementally… SSNHL, on the other hand, is more of a Wham, you just hit a brick wall, leaving you almost totally bereft of hearing, and overall lost confidence in probably equal measure, tis almost like your legs have been cut off below the knees, it is incredibly isolating, confidence sapping, and reeks havoc with your mental health, your probably going to lose your job, your income, and your independence, you are going to grieve big time, it takes years to come to terms with, and if there are other complications thrown in the mix, like Meniers Disease, Severe Tinnitus, or perhaps Recruitment…Then perhaps Depression will rear its ugly head? Most folks don’t have the strength of character to withstand that kind of onslaught, especially if you are unemployable… And yes, when you bottom out, the only way is up, but it may be 10 years to reach rock bottom! For me, everything has cause & effect, I am not saying gradual loss is better or worse than SSNHL, it is just fundamentally different… as always YMMV. Cheers Kev :wink:

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#20

My uncle got meningitis asa child and had sudden hearing loss. Of it was now he would have gotten CI implants but back then he old had the big body hearing aid system? He always joked around and seemed so happy, and he told you have to take what is given you and make the best out of it. But one day he committed suicide and the message he left his phone said he couldn’t put on the happy fact anymore. What believe happened was he was retirement age and his boys were all grown and moved away. In other words the ones he knew how to communicate with were gone, and he couldn’t take the loneliness.
I worry about completely losing my hearing and my eye sight, I have macular degenerate but so far it is affecting me too much.

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