In many situations I can still hear most people just fine without my HA’s, women and children more so than men since my loss is worse in the lower frequencies. But those few mumblers (of which my son is one) are the ones who made me finally get the HA’s. I was never shy about telling people I had a hearing loss, and repeatedly reminding them. But it gets old after awhile.
My HA’s have the remote for program and volume control. So I can adjust the volume to fit my amplification need at any given moment. But what I am finding now is that if I adjust the volume for the mumbler, the normal talkers, or heaven forbid those who’s normal voice is almost a shout, they blow my ears off!!
So, my experience is that hearing aids will not fully resolve the issue of dealing with mumblers.
Seems I am not thye only person with this problem…One of the main reasons I got HAs, was that I went back to work partb time and there were a couple of people that I couldnt hear…and I needed to in order to do the job…Got my aids and guess what?..I still have trouble hearing those same people…its better, but still have the occasional problem…I know the problem is mine, not theirs…
BTW, other people also have trouble hearing those people too…but, I figure thats just the way they talk. When I go to speak with them, I crank my aids up to max…
Poncho,
Get your Audi to up the MF and HF a couple of db, it might help. My Audi upped mine just 2 db and it’s made a huge improvement in soft speakers.
Whoa, whoa. Not speaking clearly and articulating poorly is their problem. Traditionally in most societies speaking clearly is part of being courteous. Unfortunately, manners have been slipping and this slippage in enunciation does not cause the talker any stress - it causes us stress. Yes, enunciating words and projecting speech are qualities that are to be admired and not everyone is excellent at these things. However, those who are so horrible at them and are not courteous don’t deserve a pass.
In the workplace, this lack of courtesy has economic ramifications. You and I have disabilities. At least when at work here, the law requires that people accomodate us. Just like bird sounds at crosswalks and handicap ramps, better enunciation is not an unreasonable requirement and makes things function better.
Lalo,
Unfortunately, I think the problem is ours and not theirs. Those with good hearing have a tendency to speak softer then we with hearing loss do and we tend to think they are mumbling or not speaking clearly. With HF hearing loss we don’t need them to speak louder although it sometimes helps, but slower and clearer so we can make sense of what they are saying and this also helps with enunciation of words. This is hard to get across to someone who doesn’t have a hearing problem, so it falls on us to train them and this isn’t easy. Prior to HA, my wife who also wears HA, would speak to me loudly and very slowly as if she was talking to an idiot and this would just p–s me off; I would keep telling her " you don’t have to speak louder just speak clearly and slower" but the next time I didn’t hear her she would revert back to loud and slow, it wasn’t until we both got HA that the problem was solved.
“Those with good hearing have a tendency to speak softer then we with hearing loss do and we tend to think they are mumbling or not speaking clearly.”
Nonsense. Most non hearing impaired people speak just fine and don’t speak softly or mumble. Only about 1 in 50 people is a “soft talker” or mumbler. These people are discourteous. Not just to you and me but to anyone around them. ANYone can learn to enunciate and not mumble. Acting schools have speech classes that provide this training and it works. Now, mumblers may have other issues in life like low self esteem but that is their issue, not mine.
Fast talkers are another issue. I agree with you that for us, fast speech is more difficult to hear than low decibel speech. I do seem to be able to get some fast talkers to slow down. But the OP was not talking about fast talkers nor was I. We are talking about soft talkers and mumblers. You seem to be mixing up the two.
also a generational thing. Esp. female but boys can be just as bad. Walk through a middle school/high school hall some day and listen to how they speak. Articulating? not a priority. I try to approach it the same way as with other things that are out of my control. Try a little humor and have fun with it. I have found that now that I have begun wearing HAs that I don’t have to ask folks to repeat themselves as much. but I have also tried to take ownership of my own hearing loss.
Seb, You are saying that most - e.g. at least 51% - people are soft talkers? Huh? That would not make them soft talkers. That would put them in normal range. I am talking about people that speak softer than normal.
The last poster makes a good point. A lot of this is cultural and younger generations do not have the same view of courtesy and traditions and manners that older folks do. I do indeed have a tough time with HS kids, with my hearing aids on.
Lalo,
No, What I’m saying is that of the people I know who talk softly all have had extremely good hearing and non of them have been mumblers. Most if not all of my friends commented on how much my voice level dropped after I got HA and some of them didn’t know I had HA until I told them, and as we know one of the symptoms of hearing loss is that we tend to speak louder and complain that people either don’t speak loud enough or they mumble or both. Yes, some people do speak softer than others but the problem isn’t so much them as it is our ability to hear them!
I am still not understanding your point. Previously, you contended that most people with normal hearing speak softly. That made no sense to me. If most people speak a certain way, then that is normal. The OP was not talking about normal voices, he was talking about people with exceptionally soft voices and mumblers.
Now, you seem to be asserting that the better one’s hearing, the softer one speaks. This may be your anecdotal experience but I would venture to say that there is no statistical correlation between the two at all among those who have no hearing loss.
Some people speak softly and some don’t due to all kinds of factors, such as genetics and upbringing. I mean it is nice you have a theory about some correlation but it would mean all those homeless guys yelling at me downtown and a bunch of people in Italy and China have pretty severe hearing losses.
Anyways, here is a link for all those soft talkers and mumblers.
I teach English to Japanese. Talk about shy, quiet and reserved!!! The classes of 8-10 year old girls are downright mousey. I used to grab the white board eraser and mime like it was a TV remote, turning up the volume. That gets a laugh and has the desired effect and you can easily do it again when the effect wears off without ever having to stop smiling or say another word. But that was when I could actually hear fairly well. Now I must accept that they are the customer and I do all that I can to minimize the negative effects of MY hearing loss and to make them comfortable, which usually means never asking them to say anything.:rolleyes:
I’ve known two in my life, and this current one gets hung up on by answering machines. I can tell her a half dozen times that I can’t hear her (in a quiet car) and she gets this sly smile and does not speak up. I find it infuriating.
She also blames the phones.
Personally, I think she is very angry and equates speaking up with expressing aggression.
And the message is, I will have to accommodate her and not the other way around. She also does other passive aggressive things.
I’ve known enough low or soft talkers in my life that speak so softly that even people with good hearing can’t understand what they are saying. Yes, and a few of them were unable to leave messages on answering machines because the machine “thought” no one was on the phone. The one thing I found to get them to speak up was to ignore them until they speak louder and this isn’t easy to do since some of them seem to be incapable of speaking louder. So good luck on getting her to speak louder, it sounds like you might be swimming up hill with her.
You hit right on about the comfort zone. Quite frankly people are uncomfortable around people they view as significantly different.
I had a detailed post that was removed that went into this comfort and requiring people with defects to modify themselves to be so called “NORMAL”
You more than meet them half way by having the aids in the first place. There was no excuse for the others to not come half way when your aids were down.
I been wearing aids for 30 years and I am not comfortable wearing them especially in new situations because the stupid stigma “DEAF AND DUMB” or your inferior.
first year I wore aids before starting school, had no issues at all, wearing them, that changed, when other people were introduced to the equation when school started and on.
I have the same issue you do and I am actually am wearing my aids on “max” volume. And No they do not needed to be adjusted up.
It especially becomes a problem in larger groups. People will not speak up when addressing a group. Even normal people can’t hear whats being said , how do they expect us to hear them then if normals can’t?
If we could all learn to be nicer to one another, then maybe, people would be willing to speak up without fear of belittling or other nasties? in general?.
Have a neighbor who has unusual hearing being extra sensitive he always telling me to talk quietly when around him he also talks lower as well.
Not sure it may be related to a non malignant tumors he has in his scull.
So he is a rare bird but aptly fits tour point about exceptional hearing people talking softer.
I actually have to be careful with this guy because of his sensitivity. like not making any medium or loud noises around him. A blender would cause him to jump and practically climb a wall because of its noise level.
he actually wears earplugs at the library just to point out how sensitive.
We kind of get in this match, speak up, talk quieter. we are like water and oil when communicating to one another lol
I didn’t manage to read all the pages so I’m not sure if this came up already, but sometimes this can be cultural too. I will avoid travel in Thailand where I have heard it is polite for a lady to speak quietly and also to cover her mouth. That’s a double whammy to a deaf/hoh person. It is as alien to that person to ask them to speak loudly as it is to ask most of us to walk naked down the street - it’s going to make them very uncomfortable.
Some people who have particularly good bone conduction may also perceive of their voices as much louder than they are, because when they speak it really ricochets around their heads, they assume their voices sound as loud to us as it sounds to themselves.
Not sure of a solution, though! I have a friend who is constantly trying to get her young son’s attention when he’s doing something inappropriate by saying his name under her breath from 20 feet away, getting increasingly agitated that he’s not responding and gritting her teeth ever more solidly so her voice in fact gets quieter - she then says how awful it is that she has to “tell him 20 times” - probably because he can’t hear the first 19 and he only heard the 20th because you went and stood next to him to tell him. Can’t really chime in on it with my giant hearing aids and all, but I’d love to say to her that no living human could possibly be expected to know what she is saying.
I’ve got myself into trouble the other way around, that people tell me off for being “aggressive” if I’m loud. Can’t they tell the difference? Aggressive is about what you say, too. You can threaten someone really quietly, or you can shout “My name is Rose” - clearly not an aggressive statement.
And it was a real problem when I worked in a shop that had all sorts of embarassing things behind the counter. When people came in with low voices I tended to hand them condoms, which was fun when people just had low voices!
This happens all the time for me - especially someone calling from another room - namely the x ray tech. Why do people call from another room? Can’t they come and get you? Is it really that much trouble? You’d think people in the medical profession would know better. I hear you about the people that just don’t know what “speak up please” means. It borders on rude but fortunately it hasn’t been a huge issue for me after I tell them I really can’t hear.
