I’ve known enough low or soft talkers in my life that speak so softly that even people with good hearing can’t understand what they are saying. Yes, and a few of them were unable to leave messages on answering machines because the machine “thought” no one was on the phone. The one thing I found to get them to speak up was to ignore them until they speak louder and this isn’t easy to do since some of them seem to be incapable of speaking louder. So good luck on getting her to speak louder, it sounds like you might be swimming up hill with her.
Here’s an excerpt from a link that gives another angle to this symptom
"Communication apprehension (CA) is the fear or anxiety associated with either real or anticipated communication with another person or persons. "
and also fits into this woman’s background.
I guess I have more reading to do on this.
You hit right on about the comfort zone. Quite frankly people are uncomfortable around people they view as significantly different.
I had a detailed post that was removed that went into this comfort and requiring people with defects to modify themselves to be so called “NORMAL”
You more than meet them half way by having the aids in the first place. There was no excuse for the others to not come half way when your aids were down.
I been wearing aids for 30 years and I am not comfortable wearing them especially in new situations because the stupid stigma “DEAF AND DUMB” or your inferior.
first year I wore aids before starting school, had no issues at all, wearing them, that changed, when other people were introduced to the equation when school started and on.
I have the same issue you do and I am actually am wearing my aids on “max” volume. And No they do not needed to be adjusted up.
It especially becomes a problem in larger groups. People will not speak up when addressing a group. Even normal people can’t hear whats being said , how do they expect us to hear them then if normals can’t?
If we could all learn to be nicer to one another, then maybe, people would be willing to speak up without fear of belittling or other nasties? in general?.
OMG that reminds me of the African American female police officer from the movie “Police Academy”
They would tell her to speak up, only to have her speak softer.
Have a neighbor who has unusual hearing being extra sensitive he always telling me to talk quietly when around him he also talks lower as well.
Not sure it may be related to a non malignant tumors he has in his scull.
So he is a rare bird but aptly fits tour point about exceptional hearing people talking softer.
I actually have to be careful with this guy because of his sensitivity. like not making any medium or loud noises around him. A blender would cause him to jump and practically climb a wall because of its noise level.
he actually wears earplugs at the library just to point out how sensitive.
We kind of get in this match, speak up, talk quieter. we are like water and oil when communicating to one another lol
I didn’t manage to read all the pages so I’m not sure if this came up already, but sometimes this can be cultural too. I will avoid travel in Thailand where I have heard it is polite for a lady to speak quietly and also to cover her mouth. That’s a double whammy to a deaf/hoh person. It is as alien to that person to ask them to speak loudly as it is to ask most of us to walk naked down the street - it’s going to make them very uncomfortable.
Some people who have particularly good bone conduction may also perceive of their voices as much louder than they are, because when they speak it really ricochets around their heads, they assume their voices sound as loud to us as it sounds to themselves.
Not sure of a solution, though! I have a friend who is constantly trying to get her young son’s attention when he’s doing something inappropriate by saying his name under her breath from 20 feet away, getting increasingly agitated that he’s not responding and gritting her teeth ever more solidly so her voice in fact gets quieter - she then says how awful it is that she has to “tell him 20 times” - probably because he can’t hear the first 19 and he only heard the 20th because you went and stood next to him to tell him. Can’t really chime in on it with my giant hearing aids and all, but I’d love to say to her that no living human could possibly be expected to know what she is saying.
I’ve got myself into trouble the other way around, that people tell me off for being “aggressive” if I’m loud. Can’t they tell the difference? Aggressive is about what you say, too. You can threaten someone really quietly, or you can shout “My name is Rose” - clearly not an aggressive statement.
And it was a real problem when I worked in a shop that had all sorts of embarassing things behind the counter. When people came in with low voices I tended to hand them condoms, which was fun when people just had low voices!
This happens all the time for me - especially someone calling from another room - namely the x ray tech. Why do people call from another room? Can’t they come and get you? Is it really that much trouble? You’d think people in the medical profession would know better. I hear you about the people that just don’t know what “speak up please” means. It borders on rude but fortunately it hasn’t been a huge issue for me after I tell them I really can’t hear.
Laura
When I went to school back in the Stone Age, pupils were taught public speaking as part of the curriculum. We were taught the proper way to enunciate words so they would come out more clearly and also to produce the voice from lower down in the gut rather than up in the sinus cavities and back of the throat (which is how young people speak today.)
As an offshoot, children were more likely to speak up, speak slowly and clearly and not mumble or swallow their words. It was also a really great way to gain some much needed self-confidence that was and is often missing in those early years.
I sure wish they would reinstate this in the curriculum today!
And for Pete’s sake, give the people in the Media tutorials on speaking properly!
Gramps,
Schools across North America are only interested in their pupils passing the standardized tests that the States or Provinces have said they must pass to graduate or advance to the next grade. Gone are the days when schools actually worked where they tracked kids by their ability: if they tested with academic abilities they went academic, if they tested business, they went business and if they tested industrial they went industrial. Today, they think that every kid is a rocket scientist and have them all take academic tracks and then they wonder why only 50% of all freshmen entering high school don’t graduate or drop out, at least that is what it is in California. I don’t think public speaking has been a requirement in CA since the early 60’s.