I did post previously about wearing hearing aids, changing to moulds etc., but I just lay awake tonight realising that I am still in denial and cannot really accept that I am severely deaf at the age of 30. I know theres thousands of people who are completely deaf but, I have also realised I have made it worse for myself by not wearing my hearing aids. Not sure if it is too late to kind of get used to re-hearing things again but at the moment I will still be 3 weeks without hearing because I am getting a mould impression done on 20th (I ring every day to check if there is any cancellations before that), then that will take about a week or 2 before I can get them fitted. I have tried wearing my hearing aids with domes but they filled up with alot of moisture and they keep migrating out of my ear… also my hearing loss was not suitable for power domes anyway, according to my audiologist AND people on here but it was because I kept telling them I wanted my hearing aids to be as invisible as possible.
I woke up this morning still feeling quite down. At work, people kept complaining the buzzers was making loud noises but I could not hear a darn thing. They speak to one another and I cannot get what they are saying at all. My education from school (failed all my exams and had to resit again from home) right up to university (which I dropped out of) has suffered because I did not wear my hearing aids.
The main thing that did not encourage me to wear hearing aids was my family members. They did not, at all, tell me I should wear them. They was in denial I think. My teachers did try but everyone in class made fun of me and picked on me because of it, they all stared at me in the canteen, they used to ask me to pronounce words that I was unable to pronounce due to my deafness so it all played a part in it.
I am 30 now and from the moment I left school and grown into an adult, I know I should have grown some balls, stop being stubborn and wear my hearing aids. But I did not. I did not want everyone treating me like a child because I struggled to hear. I am struggling more now, because I still cannot hear the sounds I should hear and I do feel myself declining gradually, ie hearing getting worse, speech recognition is getting worse, I can no longer fill in the gaps where I mishear what half of the conversation is.
I am scared that I am going to get early onset dementia because of it. I am also so isolated and lonely. There is absolutely no groups or anyone near me that have groups for the deaf or hard of hearing. They are all based elsewhere very far.
Sorry for droning on. Just feeling a bit down.