Hi. I have a problem. My boyfriend has recently started to rapidly lose his hearing. After consulting a doctor, he was prescribed to wear a hearing aid. He categorically refuses to do this. He thinks that it does not correspond to his status. Tell me how can I convince him to take the doctor’s advice and buy a hearing aid?
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Simply put, you can’t.
He has to come to the decision himself.
My wife told me I needed hearing aids.
I told her she was nuts.
I agreed to the aids on the condition I would try.
I decided I didn’t like them.
Stopped wearing them. Almost thru them away.
Six months later my tinnitus got the better of me.
Started to wear them and never looked back.
Patience.
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Welcome to the Forum.
Sadly, your problem is a frequent one… One argument modern HAs are really cool is that they double as Bluetooth audio devices. When standing in a supermarket line I just play some podcasts on my phone and they play in my ears (music works, too, ofc). My Phonaks are world champions for this functionality. Not sure this will be convincing enough, though… Perhaps you can try something along the lines that it is such a shame all the sweet words you whisper into his ears are lost in the ether…
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Welcome too!
The sad thing is that hearing aids affect the person diagnosed, and their family.
I read a book that really helped.
Title: Hear & Beyond
Live skilfully with hearing loss
Shari Eberts
Gael Hannan
It has helped me a lot. I’ve worn hearing aids for over 20 years.
If you’re interested, I was able to buy the book from amazon. It’s on my ipad.
It wasn’t expensive, and it changed my life.
DaveL
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I sympathize with your problem. My son thinks similarly. He is a teenager and he is afraid of any criticism from his environment. Teenagers are often cruel. We are still at the very beginning of our journey and our hearing has just begun to deteriorate. I was advised a modern solution - AirPods Pro 2 headphones. They have a hearing aid function. However, I understand that if the hearing deterioration progresses, then we will have to turn to more serious hearing aids.
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There isn’t a better time to get fitted with hearing aids than now, the future looks even brighter.
Costco is a better an affordable place to start from.
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I think eventually he will cave in when he realises how much he is struggling socially etc, so just let him process things and I think he will slowly come to terms and accept it.
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As others have said, you can’t. However, you can tell him how his unwillingness to try makes you feel.
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I can relate to that… its where I was forty years ago.
Perhaps have him make a list of all the reasons, he don’t want them.
Say if he can do that convincingly, you won’t bother him for a while as you absorb the list.
Meanwhile, you prepare a list to give him, of all the life saving benefits of being able to hear dangers, hear loved ones. salvage his hearing, delay hearing decay, keep his mind sharp… details - You got to break it all down to loads of details. Then you exchange lists. He will probably give you a list of seven reasons.
You should be able to give him a list of hundreds!
If not, he might just have a point.
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Hi. As a blind hearing aid user, I have fought and fought against wearing them because they do not give me back anything like the hearing I once had. For years I’ve been messing about, trying every model under the sun. My hearing has been getting worse and worse. now it’s at the point where honestly not wearing them is just kind of stupid. It makes me feel stupid and I really struggle without them. I can do it but I miss things. My advice to you is to speak openly to your boyfriend, tell him that you find this difficult and that you only want the best for him. However, tell him that you understand he has to make this decision on his own. Forcing him will not help. If his hearing is going fast, eventually he will realise that he has to wear them because he just won’t be able to interact with other people.
The hard thing for you is going to be to stay strong whilst he’s going through that. My poor wife must be driven nuts sometimes by having to repeat stuff and I have to bite my tongue for her snapping at me. You can get there, but it will take time and kindness, from both of you.
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I second that. The book really helped me shift my mindset around my hearing loss. Where previously I felt ashamed and found it difficult to talk to others about it, now I proudly embrace my hearing loss and made many changes that have improved my ability to communicate.
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The book changed my life. It really helped me. I learned how to advocate for myself
I’m glad it helped you
I’d like to learn more from others!
DaveL
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What is his status? Is he a banker? The owner of a diamond mine? The king of a country? Look at Queen Margrethe II of Denmark, she uses a pair of Oticon Intent.
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This is hard to believe - figure she didn’t have to listen to anyone!
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I often see her talking at interviews and cultural events.
Ah - so I was right: Talking, NOT listening!!!
But then how does she understand other people’s speech? For example, during the preparation of a theatrical performance? Or during a museum tour? If she didn’t understand, she wouldn’t have kept up the conversation.
@nina79
That was my experience too. I didn’t expect some other things to come true.
I thought the path would be easy when I needed new hearing aids. The book warned me that it would not be.
They were right.
My first audi was a patron saint. She was the audi that I would recommend to anyone else who needed her help. 4 years of wonderful skill and treatment.
When I needed to find someone new I moved to another audi that was recommended to me.
As my hearing changed, they couldn’t keep up. Finally I bought my second set of hearing aids. They were awful because of the audi’s skill in setup.
I would have thought that getting my second, and third sets of hearing aids would be easy. In fact it was extraordinarily stressful. More than my first pair.
edit: Life’s about choices. I"ll say they’ve changed my life. I leave it at that. If someone has questions I’ll give my experience.
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There is patience needed. He is probably in denial condition. Maybe speaking about the sooner is auditory rehabilitation with hearing aids, the easier and more seamless is proceed with it.
I’m not sure what he meant speaking about status. I have been using a hearing aid since I was 11 years old. Now I can have good job.
Even President Reagan and Queen Elizabeth had hearing aids.
To be honest, only people who are lucky enough to have decent salaries or insurance can afford the especially premium hearing aids. Many people with hearing loss in the world are not so lucky.
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1] Most questions are easier to understand, and can be presented via writing.
2] I THOUGHT I was being FUNNY. You make it seem as if I was wrong to think that. OK. I been wrong before!
3] There is ample evidence in this world that the majority of persons are wrong about something, and cannot or will not change their mind: For example, anyone who is religious, is not easily converted to a different religion. Anyone who is not religious, is not easily convinced to become religious. Anyone who is religious, is not easily convinced to question those beliefs. I could say the same about all political views. And we have not even gotten into art!
As a child, I was taught that a person has a right to pursue their own ignorant belief, as long as it does not affect others.
Perhaps your best hope is to work to convince him to try it for YOU.
Still I think, most politicians, hear what they want to hear, and say what they want to say!
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