Bluetooth confusion in car

Recently I’ve been having problems connecting things in the car.
I have a VW Golf - I often like to connect to Android Auto, and this needs my phone to be connected via cable.
When get in the car/ plug in the cable, it seems to turn on bluetooth automatically. Sometimes I can turn it off and it turns itself back on.
I have a cochlear implant and a resound quattro and either one or both then connect to the phone when the bluetooth is turned on.
Then my phone ALSO connects to the car phone via bluetooth.

It creates a crazy issue when the phone rings because I get phone call in one or both ears, PLUS the car audio.

How do I work out how to fix this?

Where do you want to take the calls?
It’s probably because your aids are connected via Bluetooth to the phone.
The phone is connected to the car via Android Auto.
You have to disconnect something.
That depends on where you want the call to go to.

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Android auto.
But bluetooth is automatically turning on - can I stop that behaviour?

So you want the call through the car.
Go to Bluetooth in the phone and disconnect the hearing aids.
You should not have to unpair them.
You’ll have to reconnect then when you leave the car.

I just did it to mine.
Starkey Edge AI.
I was still connected to the app just not connected to the phone for calls.
I reconnected the phone and I’m back on the phone.