Venting about my profound hearing loss

Just venting here. It’s been a big adjustment for everyone since I had a sudden profound loss 18 months ago. My DH still forgets and tries to speak to me from the other room as he is walking into the kitchen. When I get only 1/2 of it he gets upset and says “It is so frustrating when you can’t hear me!!!” Works both ways. For me I clearly don’t need to be reminded I can’t hear. Hoping the family soon gets it. :persevere:

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Welcome to the club! I think many of us experience family members trying to talk to us from down the hall. When they complain, perhaps ask them if they just need to vent or do they want to do something about it? If they say yes, let them know what you need. If they say they just need to vent, well, not much you can do.

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Nope my wife still doesn’t and I have been hard of hearing the whole time we have been married, 17 + years.

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Obviously some will get it and some won’t. My biggest concern right now is that your partner is seeing it as an inconvenience to him and seems to be ignoring the fact that you are the one suffering the loss. Both of you are going to have to make major changes in your life because if you don’t then I’m concerned how it could affect your relationship. Maybe taking to your audiologist and sitting in on a hearing test will help. He needs to understand that he has to be in the same room and face you when he speaks to you. You on the other hand need to watch his lips to try to understand. You also nned to sit your family down and explain to them that you have a profound loss, which means almost deaf. And even with hearing aids you will struggle. But your family needs to understand that talking to you from another room or even to your back isn’t going to work. And your dh needs to get his head out of his ass and realize this isn’t about him. And that his understanding would go a long way toward making you feel better. It’s not your fault. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about anything. Hang in there. Hopefully they’ll come around. Feel free to punch your dh in the nose if he continues the way he is. Tell him you’re just trying to get his attention. Good luck. You’re not alone here.

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My wife have been to the Clinic with me many times and has even been to a training class that is designed to teach the family members how to deal with someone with severe hearing loss. It helped for a few weeks then it is back to the old habits.

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I feel you!!! I’m the same way but with my mom she has a mild to profound loss and it’s a pain in the butt
hopefully a new pair will be a compromise for us! and… before I’m 26.

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See what I mean. Some people see a person’s loss as an inconvenience to them and don’t care that it’s an inconvenience to the person with the loss who has to deal with it 24/7. Amazing

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Not complaining about him. He understands but keeps forgetting. Then has a meltdown in his frustration. I think it has been harder on him than me. Our marriage isn’t on the rocks

That being said the good news i am only deaf on one side. The aids BiCROS help my moderate loss on the other as long as we are in close proximity. Since i can hear him sometimes i think it makes it harder for him remember.

I have always slept on one side of the bed and now my deaf side faces him. He suggested swapping sides so i can hear him. For now if he whispers sweet nothings it is literally nothing (you have to laugh) He is really trying

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Good I’m glad to hear that. Then with any luck it’s just a matter of adjusting for both of you. At times it will be frustrating but with time you should be able to work it out. Try to position yourself so you’re hopefully facing whatever you need to hear with your good ear. And consider yourself fortunate that you still hear well with the one ear. But you’ll probably need to constantly remind people that you can only hear at of one ear. And try not to feel bad about yourself. There’s nothing you can do but try and compensate. With time it will become second nature

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My wife is very patient and understanding, but it hurts me when I hear the frustration in her voice that she tries to hide.

I ask her gently, “please look at me, it keeps the echos down.” But that’s not always convenient.

I’m going to install an old-fashioned push-button intercom on our desks in separate offices if I can find one.

Bob

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Same way here. Hubby will sometimes forget he has a almost deaf wife. And we’ve been married 29 years.

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Same here, but I’ve had my loss since I was a kid so it’s not anything new to our relationship. I hope your husband becomes more patient and realizes that even though “it’s hardest on him,” (which I’m just going to call BS on----sorry, but your’e the one whose life was impacted in all facets—he just has to be more aware of when he’s talking to you). It’s just a different disability that isn’t as visibly noticeable and is easy to forget it’s not there until the person can’t hear you. No one would yell at someone with a limp to get somewhere faster or complain about them being slow. This is no different and we all deserve respect.

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Realistically this is something you probably both need to work on

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I recently obtained the Phonak Partner Mic to go with my Marvel HAs. I’ll sometimes ask my GF to wear it around the house if she is feeling chatty.

Since I then hear her perfectly anywhere within the boundaries of the property it is often her that can’t hear me replying to her from another room.

In a way it is a bit of reverse psychology.

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This is good news. I have considered buying a Partner Mic to hang on my wife.
Thanks

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Make sure you can get a full refund for that partner mic. It may not be a solution to your problem

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Not heard of the partner mic, is that ‘Roger’?

As for communication - join the club. My OH calls, I acknowledge, a stream of instructions follow and after 20 years I still have to tell her ‘no chance’ if I am 2-3 rooms away, and not much better if in the next room. Oddly if I call her and then talk, she can’t here either.

Even with my new Phonak, if a new voice is not talking at me I still have some difficulty.

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Nope, partnermic is phonak product, works with marvels directly, and from what I’ve read, only way to use it is to hang it on the speaker you want to listen to.

Phonak Roger has pen, select and table mic (of worth mentioning non edu products), and they can work at some distance from speaker’s mouth :slight_smile:

In short

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If I may suggest, I would encourage your partner to attend your audiology appointment sessions as this will help him better understand the challenges. That way, both of you can work out better communication tactics to overcome the repeats and frustrations, such as speaking to you where you can lip-read his words and sentences.

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Or get him to wear a custom set of Solid silicone moulds for a couple of weeks.