Sharing hearing impairment info with new partner

Hi there, new to this forum. Just wanted some ideas or hear your experiences of disclosing to your new partner that you have an hearing impairment or that you wear hearing aids. We have just been texting so far but i dread our 1st telephone convo or 1st meeting. Male voices over the phone seems more difficult to understand than females. Advise welcome. Thanks

UPDATE:

I went on my date 14th Feb and it was fabulous… He booked a table for two and as we got seated him directly oposite me, and he began to speak everything sounded so echoey it was unbelievable. I said wow its very echoey in here could we move seats to a corner seat. Luckily the restaurant wasnt packed so we could easily change seats. He did so with no fuss whatsoever.
On settling down we exchanged pleasantries then he mentioned some scars he had on the side of his head which i hadnt even noticed if he didnt mention it. But that was his insecirity that he thought he needed to tell me about. These came about in a car accident as a child. I reacted with compassion and said how lucky he was to escape with his life and said i’m happy he survived so i could get the opportunity to meet him.:blush: He received that vety well. So I thought well this is a great time to raise my insecurities with him so I jumped on board and told him about my hearing loss but he was lucky as i would always give him full attentjon. This he also found amusing…:blush:. So we both openened up to each other and we are sailing… He made the effort to speak clearly. Didnt mind repeating himself occassionally. It just felt soooo natural. Needless to say we had a smashing date and have been in constsnt communication. We mostly text for ease of communicating but do speak on the phone to each other to make our convo’s more intimate.( luckily he hadnt got a very deep voice, just right :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:). He is a very special person and i hope we share our future together for ever as he says…So Thank you guys for your encouraging comments and stories. I appreciate you. Thanks

Honesty is always the best way to go. And better right from the start and not later. If she detects your hearing loss, which she will, sooner or later, she’ll wonder why you never mentioned it. And if she doesn’t want to deal with better you know right away.

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Hello, yeh thats true best be open and honest but i find it so hard to discuss my hearing loss. It took me years to let anyone even see them. I’m a woman therefore can disguise the aid under my hair. Just dreading it. I dont want it to hold me back from getting close to people. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

Why hide or be embarrassed/nervous? It’s not as if you have any control over it. If someone can’t appreciate you for you, they aren’t worth your time.

I know it’s easy to write that to someone else on the internet but I have been through the ringer on relationships. I had to learn a lot and go through a lot of bad before the woman I married and I met. You’ll find your best person too. Maybe you already have. But, don’t be in a hurry. You have plenty of time.

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For a long time, I used online dating to meet someone. I always made sure that I told a potential partner about my hearing loss in a phone call before we met for the first time.

One funny thing. When I told that to the last woman I went out with before I met my wife, I said “I have a True Confession to make” and then humorously referred to the old magazine called “True Confessions.” I then said, “I’m deaf in one ear and wear a hearing aid.”

There was a noticeable pause after that. Then I found out the reason – she said, “Wow, that floored me – I’m also deaf in one ear!”

The next woman I met and dated is now my wife. She also reacted well to my True Confession (though not in such a surprising way!). I always think honesty is the best policy.

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You need to understand that a hearing loss doesn’t make you less of a person. It’s like everything else. People either accept you for who you are or they don’t. If they don’t the hell with them. You’re better off without them.

I hate to say this but hearing loss does make us less a person. It is a disability that takes so many things away from you. Relationships and jobs to mention two. If it wasn’t for hearing aids many of us would be literally on the back burner out of life.

It takes a special spouse to put up with us HOH people.

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I’m female with RSHL (reverse slope hearing loss) so men’s voices are harder to hear for me than women’s. I have a heard time conversing with anyone, though. It’s more of a concern to us than it is to them. My other half just goes with the flow and usually acts as my translator, especially when we’re in noisy restaurants and he knows that it’s more difficult for me to understand. Don’t overthink it. Be honest about it, but if you don’t make a big deal about it, he probably won’t think much of it, either. If you liked someone, would it bother you if they had a hard time hearing? Probably not. You’d work around it, even if it annoyed you sometimes. Just like you would when they leave the seat up. :wink:

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I have 3 sons who were born with severe hearing loss…

My advice to them has ALWAYS been to address it right up front. Let the person know that it is a part of you, and what works best when communicating with you.

Look at you when they speak, make sure they don’t cover their mouth, don’t yell, and be deliberate in forming their speech.

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Maybe you misunderstood. Hearing loss means we have to struggle. It’s a handicap. But there are a lot of people out there that refuse to let their handicap hold them back. The deaf community would go nuts being referred as a lesser human beings because their deaf. It’s all what you make of it. I have a profound loss and have dealt with a lot of insulting remarks from ignorant people. But I do the best I can with what I have and accept what I can’t do. I don’t see myself as a lesser person because I can’t hear. Hearing aids help they don’t fix and there are tons of people in the deaf community that feel they don’t need aids at all and still lead a full life. It’s better to accept what you can’t do than to use what you can’t do as an excuse. I have always told my partners right from the get what my hearing problem is and where I am headed with it. That’s how it should work in any relation ship. Do I have a handicap? Sure. Do I use it as an excuse. I try not to. Do I inform people right away I can’t hear. Yes. It would be insane not to. Does that always work. No. But I try not to let that hold me back.

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Youre right. I just would like to settle down now and not have to relive the anxiety that comes with disclosing about my hearing to someone else again.

I hope this guy is the one. He seems quite a sensitive soul and we get on like soulmates. Its left to see hiw he’ll react when i tell him. It will be the make or break i think. Fingers crossed.

Soo happy you found love.:heart_eyes:

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Its doesnt but its sooo hard. Sometimes i just feel so down a out it and then a next time i’m ok. Luckily the other day i managed to find a progeamme on my hearing aid which makes my hearing almost perfect. So thst boosted my confidence a whole lot more. Yes you are right. The right one woll love me for who i am. Tah x

Wow!!! Your son’s are lucky to have a parent like you to keep encouraging and reminding them that are worthy of only best. I’m inspired. Thanks

Ahhh Txgoddess you’re funny. You surely mase me laugh. Ialso find mens deeper voices harder to understand. My hesrt drops ehen i get a male phone operstir as sometimes its imposdible to understand him. Last importsnt call i was on sorting insurance was a nightmare. We had to hang up. I sent him a text explaining why and he said dont worry we’ll finish the rest in messages abs email questionnaire. He was excellent and prompt. We got it all sorted in the end. But yes it can be a pain. My young son acts as my little interpreter sometimes . He just does it automatically but i feel so guilty sometimes. He’s a god blessed child. Sometimes if were watching something together and he knows i didnt catch ut he says ohhh dont worry mum that man was mumbling even i didnt hear him properly.:grin::grin::grin:.Hope i meet someone who doesnt mind and love me for me.

I luv your spirit and you have inspiredme to get going with life. The right people will and always turn up in my life. Thanks

There’s another side of the coin here too. You tell whoever about your hearing problems and they can’t understand what in God’s name you’re talking about. Try explaining speech comprehension to someone. Many think all you need is amplication and cant figure out why if it’s loud enough you’re still not getting it. I’ve run into too many people who see my loss as nothing more than an annoyance to them and can’t be bothered dealing with it.

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That experience is no reason not to try again though. You can’t be discouraged, at least not permanently.

Never give up. I just add the name to the list of people I’m probably waiting my time talking to. Especially the rude ones.

It does take away from you but doesnt let you be less of a person. People who really matter in your life would never ever seeyou as less of a person. As annoying as our problem is we still need to give thanks we can still interract with people around us. Keep up your enthusiasm. Theres so much other great points/ features about you.

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I always let everyone know about my hearing issues, I have never been treated poorly by anyone that meant anything to me.

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