speech clarity = speech intelligibility.
You could definitely bring your friend with you and you would be able to see EXACTLY why her voice is difficult for you.
Using special programs to achieve better performance in noise the way you are suggesting would probably be fruitless, but you could have a lot of fun trying and playing with it. If you were able, the best solution would be to use speech mapping to get intelligibility at optimal, then go set up a laptop with Target in a noisy place. Without adjusting the gain, only adjusting the directionality and the attack and release times and noise reduction parameters, you could hypothetically get a program set to your optimal comfort level. This is basically what Oticon is trying to do with their programming software.
The problem is your brain. What your optimal comfort level is right now may not be the optimal level for speech intelligibility in noise.
You have to think about the concept of scaffolding (psychological concept)… If you never push the capabilities of your auditory cortex, it will not expand those capabilities. Essentially you are relying on the technology to do all the cognitive work for you.
Think about doing work. You can move a pallet of bricks one brick at a time or you can use a forklift to move the whole pallet. If you rely on the forklift, that’s fine, but you’re likely to get fat and out of shape. If you try to rely on the directional mics/hardware to do all the work, your auditory cortex will get out of shape.
MRI studies prove this concept, by the way.