Just wanted to thank you all!

My entrance into the world of hearing loss was very sudden. I had it in my mind that I would have surgery and all would be great! Well, that may not be the case for me and I have not been overly accepting of my new reality, but I am starting to accept it. There may still be some hope, some improvement in my hearing, but I accept now that my hearing will never be “good” again.

I just wanted to thank all of you who contribute here regularly. I know no one with a hearing loss, other than my son, who I can share my frustrations with. Honestly, until I came to back on New Year’s day after my fall and couldn’t hear correctly out of my left ear I never gave being hard of hearing a thought. Never imagined it could be so difficult to be hard of hearing. Who knew? As someone who had pretty darned good hearing I never gave not having perfect hearing a thought, even with a child that has a hearing loss.

Last weekend I hosted a party at my house. It was an outdoor party and try as I might, it never failed that the only open seats would be where someone would sit down on my left side and start talking to me. I would just turn, smile, and remind them that I don’t hear much on that side. Most would apologize and trade seats with me.

When shopping or out in restaurants, I find it’s easier to say I’m deaf in that ear than to say I’m hard of hearing in that ear. People understand deaf, when I say I’m hard of hearing in that ear they just speak louder which doesn’t always mean I’ll hear them any better. :o I wish I could find and earring for that ear that had an ear inside a “no” symbol, that could work.

So thanks again for listening to me rant and rave through my hearing loss journey!

I know what you mean. There is really a grieving process you go through. I knew I had hearing loss, and trust me so did all my friends and family, even a cat I had one time would get up in my face to meow that it was time for her to go outside.

But getting the exam a couple of years ago and seeing how bad it was, in writing, made it seem more real. I grieved over my lost hearing and it had been gone for 25 years.

I guess the grieving once you know that it is what it is must be normal. The proverbial there’s no going back and what once was is no longer. I’m adapting, I’m learning, and I’m becoming accepting.

I have found my journey to be much easier when I know there are others out there who have “been there”. :wink:

Thanks Don.

Hi lohearn

I am glad you are coming to terms with your hearing loss! In all honesty, I’m much the same as Don, it took me 16 years to except I was deaf… We are kinda slow up here in the Scottish Highlands:D It was not until I started work again (4 years ago, I was a house husband for many years) as a support worker for Deaf Services and our coordinator took me under her wing, I had known Lynda for 30 years as a personal friend, but she knew all the dodges we HOH use, I learned a lot from this lady, she wore a BAHA herself! Most of all she instilled in me the confidence to challenge people, to push people into giving me the contextual information I needed to do my job, repeat, rephrase or write it down please… I had been in denial all that time! You all know the script, its easier to pretend we have heard something and try to actually guess rather than ask the person to repeat or rephrase, this can and does lead you down avenues you wouldn’t believe, especially if you are getting important info about a client!

Cheers Kev:D

Hi Lohearn.

My left ear has been dead most of my life. Probably from measles as a child in the 1940`s.
I even fooled the school doctors. I remember being told I wasn’t listening sometimes, and I was in my teens before it became a nuisance.

Five years ago, I lost hearing in the other. Thats when its a problem. So it`s good to see you managing, and people will always sit on the wrong side.

Thanks Kev and John,

I am adapting, and learning. I’ve even used my loss to my advantage at times. When the birds start singing at 4:30 AM, I just turn my left ear out to the room, bury my right ear in the pillow and the birds magically go away so I can go back to sleep. :smiley:

My loss is far from as bad as others, but the suddenness of it is what has made it hardest for me. My son has a loss, otosclerosis, that has come on gradually throughout his childhood. He’s been adapting to it for many, many years. His audiogram and mine look very similar, his high frequency hearing is much better than mine though, but he has years to slowly adapt to the hearing loss.

We went out to dinner the other night and the hostess says “we have a table available, it’s the booth all the way in the back of the restaurant”, she says like this is a bad thing. I look at where she’s looking and think “perfect, all the way in the corner with high backed seats, perfect”.

I love these forums! They’ve been a link to sanity for me as I learn to live with my new reality.

Imagine what it’s like with two bad ears. When you tell someone you can’t hear with that ear do people tell you to turn the aid up louder?

Hi lohearn,

I have mild hearing loss in my right ear - almost negligible compared to yours, and I’m seriously struggling to adapt to it. Everything is so quiet and depressing now :(.

But to see you, and others on this forum learn to adapt to their loss is an inspiration to me. I should be thanking you instead :P.

Anyway, I just have one question. Has your hearing loss affected your ability to enjoy music? Playing the piano is my passion, and it kills me not to be able to enjoy music the way I used to. Have your aids helped at all with that?

Hearing aids can have a program installed specifically for music. This program will give you a much fuller sound required for music instead of the suppressed tinny sound you may get from your normal listening program. The music program can then be tweeked further to say add more bass until it’s more to your liking. It can make a huge difference in how you perceive music.

I can’t imagine :o that. I’m having enough trouble adapting to losing one ear’s perfect hearing! I get a lot of jokes thrown my way. I tend to be a klutz, and falling and destroying your own hearing seems joke worthy to a lot of people. If I had been in an accident with a car I don’t think as many jokes would come my way. I get a lot of “what?” jokes, or “can you hear me now?” like from the old Verizon cell phone commercials here in the USA. If I stumble just a little bit people will say stuff like “oh know, here she goes again” or “trying to make your bad hearing a matched set?”, that type of crap. I’ve had people do the fake sign language thing when I don’t hear them.


I am unaided as yet, and have been told I’m not a great candidate at this time either. Music is one of the things I’m really struggling with. I love music, many different kinds of music, and not hearing it correctly is so hard. One of my favorite stress relievers was always to get in the car and go for a drive with the music playing, and usually me singing along to the song. Now, I can’t hear the music correctly and when I sing the “kazoo effect” I have when I talk is off the charts when I sing. When I speak instead of hearing my own voice in my damaged ear, I hear what sounds like a kazoo playing. When I sing, the kazoo is so loud it drowns out the song I’m listening to, so no ore singing for me. I wasn’t very good att it, but I enjoyed it anyway!

I have a patient with this.

Started after a sudden increase in the conductive hearing on her ears. Ossicular chain damage is suspected to be the main problem. She’s currently wearing a Phonak Solana MicroM which is more powerful than her older hearing aid to accommodate the step change in the level.

It’s my pet theory that the Kazooing is caused by your skeletal hearing transfer vs your actual hearing system. We all hear through our bone structure at a lower level (and slightly more quickly) as well as from the sound that is carried through the air. Normally the proportional power difference between the two is such that the skeletal/cranial resonance is damped out. However in your case that sudden trauma to your poorer ear has resulted in a loss of the ‘over-damping’ in that side. Worse still, your ‘good’ reference ear is still functioning normally - ‘telling’ the brain and your cochlea amplifier what to expect. Hence, the brain is doing the tuning of the cochlea bilaterally in response to certain sounds, but the input signal on the damaged ear is distorted.

So, you may never hear properly on that ear as the continuity of the overall system is reduced: or your neural plasticity will accommodate the physical change.

If you were my patient and there was no success with aiding your worst ear, I’d be tempted to try a basic CROS with no processing/interference in your good side (Audeo S III, Cassia III etc) to at least make the sound from your weaker side clear to you.

Hope this helps.

So extremely interesting! I have been thinking it has to be bone/skull/structure related. If I whisper there is no kazoo, but as my internal volume goes up so does the kazoo volume and intensity. Like the tinnitus I have in that ear, for the most part I can “block out” the kazoo and make it less noticeable to myself during normal conversations. Depending on the volume that I’m speaking at depends on how loud the kazoo is. Normal tone speaking the kazoo plays, but quietly. But singing, there’s no escaping it when I’m singing. There’s a vibration to it, the louder I speak/sing the louder the vibration and the kazoo effect.

In my case I am truly beginning to think there’s something “loose” someplace. If I tap the back of my neck, on either side, I can “hear” something in my left ear. I so wish I could accurately describe the sound I hear, I also hear that sound if any part of my head is tapped.