Hearing Impaired and talking with an "accent"

I was born hard-of-hearing. Growing up with this was tough. However, what really destroyed my self-confidence was not that I couldn’t hear normal, but that I had this little “accent” due to the hearing impairment. Words are pronounced differently. I am sure some of you guys have this issue, too.

Growing up in my teens and up into college, I never really had a problem dating. Despite my handicap and speech issues, I was actually asked out by a few women! However, more than once it may have been because of the ‘accent’…I guess it sounded exotic to a few. I’ve been asked many times “where are you from?”. Most think I am Italian or Greek. It hurt for me to tell them I was hearing impaired, hence the accent. However, I so want to lie and say I’m from Italy :stuck_out_tongue:

So I stayed single (by choice) for 8 years since college and now I’m getting ready to settle down. The problem is that I can’t get the self-confidence back to ask women out.

Do you guys find it easier to date women the older you get, despite the hearing issue? Or, was it easier in college for you? Maybe everyone was young and dumb back then…so things come by easier. Oh I just turned 30…but feeling left out and that I need to start getting with the program and find a significant other, lol. But I’m one of those guys that is not sure whether I want to marry…freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.

Sorry for my ramblin’s…

It all comes down to confidence imo… for me its been pretty hard building it back , its now been 4 yrs since i lost my hearing and im just getting some back… stay strong and dont let anyone or anything put you down…

maybe some of the other ladies here can give some feedback…

I think it’s just a confidence thing, I’m a 30yr female and a man with hearing loss wouldn’t put me off at all. In fact, I would be impressed with all that he has achieved in his life knowing how much harder it is with a hearing impairment. Maybe I’m a bit weird but when I see younger guys with hearing aids I think it’s kinda cute…

The fact that you are only looking for a woman only cos you think you should though and that really you want your freedom… that’s not going to do you any favours with the ladies :smiley:

My brother is 35 and is HOH and never had a problem in the dating department with his hearing aids. I myself wear hearing aids and I’m happily married with a 3 year old daughter who also is HOH. I agree with the others, it’s a confidence thing. You are no different than the guy next door that has to wear glasses to see better!!

PS: I have been told I have an “accent” as well and tell people why I have “one” and they really accept me for who I am. It helps them understand you better as a person and how they interact with the next person that is hearing impaired.

The problem is that I can’t get the self-confidence back to ask women out.

If you want some guidance, you might want to specify in what area you lack confidence.

If you have not dated in 8 years there would be some anticipatory anxiety because you are not accustomed to dating. A little dating experience should help that out, because you appear to have had no problem previously.

I’m one of those guys that is not sure whether I want to marry

There seems to be some ambivalence - marriage vs. single life.
You can weigh the advantages of the single life vs. married life.
You evidently were contemplating marriage because of your feelings about single life. Companionship is a main element of marriage. Is that what you are seeking? Finding a deeper love is more available in marriage than in single life. Singleness has it advantage in decision making. There is only one person to please; that is you. In marriage there is two to please. With two there must be mutual understanding and mutual responsiveness to survive and thrive. It requires skills in communicating.

React to this post and perhaps there will be more insight which develops.

Kona

Male 56. HOH slightly since my days in the artillery, within the last 5 years progressively worse.

Now on my 1st hearing aids, have never had a problem with dating, but I have to say for me it’s been much easier as I get older.

I had very slight loss of hearing in one ear (again artillery) since my late teens. The hearing never was a factor until now,k for me. Yet confidence at that early age also affected me, and as I grew both in age and maturity so did my confidence.

I know who I am, I’m not perfect, but I’m pretty happy with me. But keeping in mind, there will always be room for improvement.

Look at who you are, not by how you may be perceived as limited.

Most of the women I’ve known have done the same when it comes to dating, love, marriage and yes sex.

And when it comes to sex, be thankful for the HA. You can hear the dirty talk now! :smiley: