Hi everyone I’m new!
A little bit about me:
I’m 28, live in London and I’m a teacher - I teach students with learning disabilities (such as autism). I’ve had hearing aids since I was 6 - it’s sensorineural loss.
All my life I’ve been very happy go lucky, driven and social, never letting my loss get me down, even using it to empower me to advocate for others and empathise with many different individuals. Recently however this has not been the case.
About 3/4 months ago the aids I had been using for about 6 years broke. I was extremely familiar with them, very comfortable and they worked for me, life was great… Then I had new aids fitted and everything seemed to crumble.
The new ones make it that much harder to be social and engage in groups, in my flat, with a few friends, that’s fine, but out socialising it becomes a mine field of emotions and needs.
I am finding it increasingly difficult to be social - to the point of holding myself back and isolating myself from my friends, who, are obviously just wanting to have a fun time and not deal with my shit. I can’t blame them really, they just want to enjoy their time and have fun! I wish I could too. I still want to go to the pub with my friends!
I try and make an effort to be involved, but it just becomes tiring and I end up just getting pissed off and frustrated with myself and with certain individuals who I’m closer to for not doing more to support me (even though they are generally fantastic and they shouldn’t have to feel responsible). It often ends up with me becoming emotional, usually this breaks the surface with tears, which probably makes everyone feel uncomfortable and unsure what to do.
I’m very very down at the moment, I’ve never felt this way about my hearing loss ever, it just seems such a struggle to do the things I used to do.
Does anyone have any experience with these depressed states?