Good luck to you. I think the chart will be helpful… Let us know how it turns out.
If you get a response to the affect of “you’re expecting too much, you’re too demanding, you’ll never have normal hearing, etc.”, these are signs that the audiologist isn’t well versed on the hearing aid software. It has been my experience that the lack of knowledge isn’t intentional, and most audiologists try to be helpful, but they don’t have the training with the software, beyond an on line seminar.
Oh yeah, bring your wife with you and try to duplicate the condition where you can’t hear her voice…
PS - Sorry, I should have thought of this sooner:
You may be having problems with anti feedback being too aggressive. Feedback happens roughly in the same range and human sibilants, especially female voices. So what could be happening is the aids are not fitted correctly and are trying to feedback, so the anti feedback stays on, and that cuts out those highs you need to hear your wife’s voice. To test this, just have the audiologist turn off anti feedback. If your aids start to squeal, then that is most likely the culprit.
The first thing to try is (with anti feedback turned off) reduce the volume around 3K and see if that stops the squeal. Your wife’s voice is around 2K to 4K.
The next thing is to test the fit of the earmold, to see if it is leaking sound. If you have aids with an earmold, like an all in the ear type, then have the audiologist block the vent temporarily, and see if the feedback stops. If it does not, then you have an earmold issue and the aids need to be remolded. If the feedback goes away when the vent is blocked, then have the audiologist reduce the size of the vent and see if that helps.
Tracking down the source of feedback is tricky, because it can come for a few unrelated places, and it takes some work to track it down…