Any singers out there? --Hearing Aid performance while singing

Need some advice from other singers.

So I sang a lot in high school and college (mostly musical theatre and classical) -even majored in Vocal Performance for a while. Even though I’ve had congenital hearing loss since childhood, I didn’t start using HAs until my late 20s after I had switched career tracks. In other words most of my singing experience was pre-HAs for me. Fast-forward 15-20 years. Over the past 5 years I’ve gradually been getting back to singing. I’ve sung backup for two R&B bands and an alt-rock band, been singing with a Gospel choir, and am working on my first solo cabaret show. The experience of singing with hearing aids is COMPLETELY different and I have really been struggling. I’ve experimented using different programs on my aids, taking my aids out when I sing, and even wearing ear plugs. I did one R&B gig without my aids where I couldn’t hear myself in the monitors and the instruments behind me were so loud that I literally couldn’t hear what notes were coming out of my mouth. I had to purely rely on muscle memory to trust I was singing the right notes (somewhat terrifying). Sometimes when I sing lyric high soprano stuff (classical or musical theatre) I start to get feedback in my aids. When I try to sing without my aids, I can’t hear myself very well and tend to “over-sing” which wears me out vocally. I am a horrible judge of how loud my voice is in relation to other singers in a group or choir. Any suggestions on aids that have worked for other singers? Is an in-the-ear monitor the only way to go?

Moderate high frequency loss:
0250 Hz L-10 R-10
0500 Hz L-15 R-20
1000 Hz L-30 R-30
2000 Hz L-50 R-45
4000 Hz L-70 R-70
8000 Hz L-45 R-50

2001: Oticon BTE
2003: Phonak BTE
2006-present: Siemens Pure 700 w/ Tek Connect receiver

Started a 75-day trial of Starkey Halos on 12/19/14.

In ear monitors would be preferable, especially to balance your sensation of your voice relative to the crowd and other performers. They also help protect your residual hearing. I think you’ll have to probably work with the sound engineer to get the right mix for you.